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Muh-muh-muh-muh, Muh-muh-muh-muh, Madness...

I'd like to blog more. I'm working a ton & I'm experiencing a flare-up of my disease (which is now believed by my doc to be MS), so things aren't exactly awesome. I used to be funny -- at least a little, but now I feel like my personality is soggy. My beauty routine is set to level: Quasimodo. I feel bad; I look bad. So since I don't want my blog to give people the sads & I can't seem to find my sense of humor, I've been avoiding writing. Maybe I'm just trying to figure out exactly what I'd like to say to the world.

I am doing a few things that make me happy during this funky period of health, though, one of which is getting braces for my teeth. They weren't in terrible shape, but I was a smidge self-conscious. Today they changed out my wires and increased the pressure from my rubber bands . . . and it made me feel great. It hurts, but I like it. I used to call myself an emotional masochist, but maybe I just prefer suffering in any form. I think I like pain, or maybe I'm just used to it. I can barely open my jaw, which has caused me to believe I could be a very good ventriloquist. A masochistic ventriloquist. Maybe the reason I enjoy the pain is because I know I'm engaged in a form of self-improvement. Whenever I think about the term "self improvement," I think of the quote from Tyler Durden in Fight Club: "Self-improvement is masturbation." So I guess that makes me a masochistic, ventriloquist masturbator. I should get some sleep.


Mood: Tired and malaligned.

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